I got this book in 2015 and it has taken me this long to read it. These are the notes I took.
Although it made me think and it says a lot of interesting stuff, I also think the book repeats itself a lot, the same ideas are repeated in every chapter. That's why my notes are so short!
- Our values are imperfect and incomplete, and to assume that they are perfect and complete is to put us in a dangerously dogmatic mindset that breeds entitlement and avoids responsibility.
- Before we can look at our values and prioritizations and change them into better, healthier ones, we must first become uncertain of our current values.
*Manson’s Law of Avoidance: ”The more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid it”. if it feels like it’s you versus the world, chances are it’s really just you versus yourself.
- Don’t choose shitty values. Measure yourself by healthy standards defined by your actions and not the actions of others, so that you are in control.
- When you choose a new value, you are choosing to introduce a new form of pain into your life (fear of rejection, fear of hurting others, etc.). But life is about not knowing and then doing something anyway. You don’t know anything, so “do the thing” anyway, there is nothing to lose.
- Action isn’t just the effect of motivation; it’s also the cause of it. Action → Inspiration → Motivation
- The paradox of choice: when you have little options whatever you choose feels like the right option. When you have many options whatever you choose will make you unhappy, thinking “did I really chose the best?”. Fear of missing out. You may avoid choosing anything at all and keep all options open, avoiding commitment.
- Rather than trying everything superficially, commit to something deeply. Keep only healthy friendships, etc.
- Set boundaries, build trust.